Rejected Schools of Magick in Unknown Armies

Of all the elements that make Unknown Armies stand out from other roleplaying games, it's probably its strange, postmodern take on magick. Imaginative, engaging, even hilarious schools of magick make kewl powerz that are actually cool. There are dozens of fan-created schools, each of them a singular vision of a certain type of character who has the specific obsession that gives rise to their magick.

This got us thinking: Is there anything that can't be a compelling Unknown Armies school of magick? We gave it our best shot to come up with schools too goofy, too weird, or too dull to be interesting. But actively trying not to be awesome was harder than it seemed! Did we succeed at failing, or do these still sound like interesting schools of magick?

Pagotomancy—The magick of ice cream. Minor charges involve creating new flavors of sweet, cold confections. Of course, the blast involves really bad brain freeze. Like, actual, literal freezing of brains. A secret war rages between the Gelati and the Soft Serve.

Esorouchurgy—The magick of underwear. Acquiring the underwear of the famous and powerful could be a source of charges, but so can acquiring the underwear worn at historic events like Game 7 of the 2016 World Series. Spells include things like "Down on Skid Row," "Four Days Good," and "Hyperwedgie." But would esourochurges be required to go commando themselves?

Videofelimancy—The magick of cat videos. Their hypnotic quality and unfailing ability to improve people's moods must surely come from a form of magick. For a significant charge, track down the original video file of the first Internet cat video. The annual cult meeting takes place in Saint Paul, Minnesota at the International CatVidFest.

Ozomancy—The magic of terrible smells. Naturally, high schools are great places to acquire minor charges, from the concentrated stink of a locker room to the weaponized scent of cheap body spray. The paradox is, of course, that the ozomancer must be meticulously clean and devoid of any scent whatsoever. If they acquire any of the scents they work with, good or bad, they must immediately clean up to avoid the taboo.

What can you come up with? Remember, the Statosphere is coming. Unknown Armies 3rd Edition has and always will thrive on the creativity of its audience.

20 comments:

  1. I see the first companion sourcebook coalescing!

    A request - a Causal papercut spell, please!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The magic of "waifus" (hardcore anime fan jargon for a 2D, usually video game or anime character, with whom they've fallen *badly* in love). Their power is drawn from the paradox that otakus wish for their "waifu" to be real because they idolize her like a goddess (some good postmodern magick right there) as everything perfect about femininity yet have no interest in "3D" women because they're "imperfect". Their proportions aren't cute like in anime, they smell, they have bad personality traits. If the waifu were to become a real, flesh and blood person, the otaku would likely lose interest in her. In truth, what they crave is the unattainable.

    Charges could be gained from "sacrificing" romantic opportunities in real life because they aren't as perfect as the "waifu" (leading to the bizarre situation of otakus, naturally among the most disgusting of god's creatures, becoming masters of seduction so they can attract members of the opposite sex then break up with them in the last moment so they can go back to worshipping waifu-chan). Alternatively, maybe they could gain charges from spending days on end watching media featuring their waifu or acquiring rare and expensive merchandise. A Major Charge could be gained from personally inventing, creating, and marketing a new waifu into a worldwide phenomenon with thousands of its own adoring otaku fans - someone on the scale of Miku Hatsune, the Kantai Collection girls or the Idolm@ster dolls.

    Their taboo would be having romantic or sexual contact, or even fantasizing too hard, about anyone other than the waifu, 2D and all.

    Magic would revolve around the themes of perfection, imperfection and adoration. Their blast would work by destructively magnifying the "imperfections" in a thing, causing tiny scratches to tear into gaping wounds and cracks to crumble into faultlines. A Major Charge could be used to turn the waifu into a true human being, but of course, ever becoming involved with her would break their Taboo...

    (Female users of the School are known as Fujoshi and idolize the impossibly handsome, oftentimes homosexual men of anime, though recently a splinter movement in the US has began fetishizing a certain impossibly hunky, sparkling vampire...)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope you will share such type of impressive contents again with us so that we can utilize it and get more advantage.
    Casino Games

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have spent a lot of the time in different blogs but this is really a unique blog for me.
    Ruff Hero Site

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi to everybody, here everyone is sharing such knowledge, so it’s fastidious to see this site, and I used to visit this blog daily.
    mu online

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nice answers in replace of the question with real point of view and explaining about that.
    sports betting sites that help with this

    ReplyDelete

  7. Thank you for your sharing articles. I have been finding interesting posts and your articles are what I need.
    They are really useful and engaging. They are precious pieces of advice. I can branch out with new knowledge.
    Learn captivating things. Hope you will upload more me.

    Try to check my webpage :: 오피사이트

    (freaky)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Very good information. Lucky me I recently found your website by accident I have book marked it for later! 카지노사이트

    ReplyDelete
  9. It’s always a pleasure to read your magnificent articles on this site. You are among the top writers of this generation, and there’s nothing you can do that will change my opinion on that. My friends will soon realize how good you are. 카지노사이트

    ReplyDelete
  10. That’s why marketing and advertising that you simply applicable exploration previous to publishing. 한국야동

    Also feel free to visit may web page check this link 야설

    ReplyDelete
  11. 온라인슬롯12/01/2021 3:31 AM

    Many thanks for the article, I have a lot of spray lining knowledge but always learn something new. Keep up the good work and thank you again. 온라인슬롯


    ReplyDelete
  12. A presentation is incorporated with a proposal explanation that arrangements with the principle subject of who can do my assignment for me paper composing. From that point onward, the body should be trailed by contentions or the data connected with the theme which followed by the end toward the end.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Excellent post. Keep posting such kind of information on your blog. buiten beveiligingscamera

    ReplyDelete
  14. this is good post about the rejected school of magic in unknown. this is smtp server provider

    smtp mail services

    ReplyDelete
  15. the body should be trailed by contentions or the data connected with the theme which followed by the end toward the end. laser skin rejuvenation mississauga on

    ReplyDelete
  16. Excellent post. Keep posting such kind of information on your blog. Conference Hall

    ReplyDelete
  17. Excellent post. Keep posting such kind of information on your blog. mountain bike shoes Canada

    ReplyDelete
  18. Free QR Code Generator is a fantastic tool that allows you to generate QR codes effortlessly. Simply visit the website, and you'll have your QR code in no time.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Best Assignment Writing Services are available to help you achieve all of your educational goals. Additionally, the experts on our team make sure to simplify your academic life and help you to get the grades you want. Contact us, as our team is always available to help.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Immersed in the digital tapestry of storytelling, this website emerges as a sanctuary for those in pursuit of literary mastery. Here, the symphony of words orchestrates a harmonious dance between imagination and craftsmanship, guided by the skilled hands of our esteemed eBook writers. Whether you are embarking on a quest for narrative brilliance or seeking to refine the contours of your literary opus, our platform offers a tapestry of possibilities for collaboration and innovation. If your heart yearns to "Hire eBook Writers" who can weave magic into the fabric of your words, venture forth into the realm of boundless creativity that awaits within our virtual realm of literary enchantment.

    ReplyDelete